This I'll Never Tell
by Painestwin
Summary: (paine one-shot) Paine thinks about her past and how she failed her mother and sister.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the final fantasy characters

Summery: This is about Paine, her thoughts, and her past. (well my version of it anyway.)

_Italic means Paine's thoughts_

**This I'll Never Tell**

"Sarah, take this and run with your sister!" A woman said with a sword in her other hand. Something was placed in my right hand. I held on tight to the object and I continued to look at the woman…my mother. "Go" She said with a kind smile on her face. I felt tears start to build up in my eyes but I stopped them from coming. I pulled a tiny wooden sword out from a sheath at my side with my free hand.

"I'll help you mommy!" I said but she shook her head causing her long beautiful silver hair to fall to her face. I saw silent tears behind her curtain of hair.

"You are very brave Sarah…" She said with a proud smile slightly showing on her face. "But no…you must go…I will give you one last thing…guard this with your life and run as fast as you can with you sister!" She said and she grabbed the wooden sword from my hand and replaced it with her real one. She gave me one more comforting smile then pushed me to the younger girl who hand been standing watching us, very confused. I yelled at the younger girl to follow me and I ran a few feet then took a last long look at my mother. I gasped and stopped in my tracks as I saw a man standing over her with a sword and I watched helplessly as he stabbed my mother in the back thirteen times.

"Mother!" I yelled as I pocketed the first thing my mother hand given me. I ran back towards them lifting the oversized sword as best i could. I looked at the man again who was smiling evilly. I gasped as I recognized him…my father. He took a quick swipe with his sword and it sent me flying with only a large cut just below my chest.

"Not your turn yet, little demon." He said and he advanced to my sister who was watching the whole time still not getting what was going on. I watched helplessly as he swung his sword and killed her along with my mother. I staggered up, sword still in my hands. A picture of my mother floated into my head "run…run…" It said so I ran as fast as I could tears and blood dripping to the ground.

Paine woke up with sweat running down her face. She went to wipe the sweat off her face but found she couldn't move her hand. She looked down at herself to see that her right hand was griped tightly to the necklace around her neck. Her other hand was lying on the thin clothes that covered her scar. She closed her eyes again and tried to picture her mother and sister when they were happy.

_When I was five me and my mother ran away from my alcoholic father. My mother was pregnant with another child and my mother didn't want the new baby to have to live with him. I don't know why but my father hated me. Whenever he spoke to me he called me 'little demon'. After nine months of waiting my mother finally had the baby. She was beautiful little girl and she look a lot like father. After a few more peaceful years came the night that still haunts my dreams. My father came, murdered them in front of me, and tried to kill me too. I tried to help them but I was too weak…I acted like a coward and ran…but I was just doing as mother had told me…the look my mother and sister had before the blade had taken their lives with still fresh in my memory even though it happened YEARS ago. I even changed my first name from Sarah to Paine trying to forget. This one memory that hunted me was what made my heart freeze over, what made it turn into pure ice._

"Why do I have to re-live that incident!" Paine muttered a little too loudly because right after she said that she heard shuffling from the other two beds. She mentally cursed herself as two different voices said "Huh…?" at the same time. She opened her eyes to see that both of the girls sit up and rub their eyes. The blond haired girl yawned and the brunet haired girl looked at Paine with a tired and confused look on her face.

"Paine…? Did you say something…?" The brunet said rubbing her eyes again. Paine closed her eyes and mentally cursed herself again.

"I didn't say anything so just go back to bed…you too Rikku…" Paine said. She opened her eyes back up to watch yuna lay back down. (Rikku was already curled into a tight ball and half asleep.)

"Phew…that was close…" Paine muttered _silently_ to herself. she looked around the room to remind herself that she was a sphere hunter now, and the death of her mother and sister happed years ago.

_Ever since I joined the gullwings I've been having the dream of my mother and sister dying less and less. I think the only reason I've been slowly getting over my mother and sister death would be because of my two sphere hunting partners, Yuna and Rikku. I believe its because they remind me so much of my mother and sister. Yuna and her way of helping anyone who needs it reminds me of my mother and Rikku's never-ending happiness reminds me of what my sister would have been like…If she lived. Of course I would do ANYTHING to get my mother and sister back…but for now I have Yuna and Rikku to fill in._

Paine shut her eyes once more and laid back on her bed. A small, barely noticeable smile appeared on her face.

Later in the morning

Paine woke up again to find that Yuna and Rikku had already gone to the lower deck of the Celsius. She got changed and absentmindedly stroked the scar her father had given her. Paine walked down stairs to see every one was crowding around buddy.

"Hey there are sphere waves coming from the omega ruins…Wanna go?" Buddy asked looking back at the silver haired warrior. "Yuna and Rikku wanted to wait for you before they decided."

Paine nodded and walked down the stairs to where every one was standing. she crossed her arms. "Sure…I don't care" She said as looked back at Buddy. He grinned.

"I knew you would say that so I took us there already." Buddy said and he Landed the airship. Paine, Yuna, and Rikku got off and entered the ruins.

After a few minutes of fighting and searching

"Ohhh…pretty!" Rikku squealed as they walked up to a brightly glowing sphere. Paine looked around for the fiend that protects the sphere. Yuna grabbed the sphere and smiled.

"Hmm, No Fiends…strange…oh well…Lets get out of here…" The silver haired warrior started to say until she felt the ground under her feet start to shake. "YUNA, RIKKU WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE **NOW!**" She yelled at the two. As they ran Paine kept a short distance behind. As they came towards the entrance they saw a fiend bashing up agents the wall. "There you are…I knew getting a sphere from here wouldn't be that easy." Paine muttered to herself. She ran ahead of Rikku and Yuna with speed she never knew she had. The warrior slashed at the fiend with her mothers old sword. "Yuna, Rikku I'll distract him and you guys get help!" She yelled and watched as rikku and yuna quickly ran past the fiend as Paine continued to slash at him with her most powerful attacks. Paine kept attacking with out stopping causing her to use up most of her energy. She made a final attack at the fiend and blacked out just as a giant claw smashed into her and knocked her into the wall.

After a few minutes

Paine woke up to find a worried Yuna in a white mage outfit casting-healing spell like there was no tomorrow. She looked around again to see outside. She smirked as she saw the air ships cannons being put away. Paine groaned as she felt a sudden stabbing feeling in her chest where the fiend had hit her. Yuna quickly cast another healing spell.

"Sheesh yuna…" Paine started, her voice sounding scratchy "Are you trying to drug me using healing spells?" She gave yuna a half smile and got up. "Come on…lets go back…I need some rest…" She said and she slowly made her way out of the cave. After a few steps she had to lean on the cave wall while making sure she didn't collapse.

"Paine!" A worried voice yelled from the ship. Paine watched a shadow come closer. "Paine, are you alright?" It said as it studied the warrior. Paine nodded.

"Yeah…Rikku…I'm...fine…" Paine said still trying not to show that she was in major pain. Rikku walked closer and looked at yuna.

"Yunie? She alright?" Rikku said looking at her cousin. Yuna nodded as she looked concurringly at paine.

"Rikku lets help her to the ship so she can rest…"yuna said as she and her cousin got on either side of the weakened warrior. They both put one of paine's arms around their shoulder. They slowly walked back to the ship.

Once they made it in and up to the cabins they set a worn our paine on the bed to sleep. Although Yuna and Rikku didn't notice it Paine had a smile on her face.

'There…I finally did what I couldn't be year ago…I finally became strong enough to protect the people closest to me…I did it mother…sis…' Paine thought as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

_Yes, Yuna and Rikku will do. They can take the place in my heart where my father had destroyed. I might not have been able to save my mother and sister ten years ago but…I made it up to them today…and I would do it again in a heartbeat, but Yuna and Rikku will have to figure that out for them selves…because This I'll Never Tell._

**THE END**

(Ok…Please review an tell me what you think…I hope you liked it )


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